Teachers who ruined my life.

Ok. The title is exaggerating. Because I am still alive and blogging.

But it is partially true. Some particular teachers I met did left a deep deep scar in my life. Hahahahaha. It is like I can call up 新明报 right now and they can spice the story up and make it a headline. "被新加坡教师取笑，年轻女子仍有阴影＂

Whenever I watch those channel 8 drama about super nice and caring teachers like the recent one with Felicia Chin as the super positive ''never-give-up-on-my-students''-''all-students-have-their-own-unique-talent''-kind of teacher, I would thought that's bull****.

You think teachers in Singapore would go to a student's house after school with her boyfriend to help the student's sister cook Maggie Mee and take care of their bed-ridden ah ma?

Especially when her boyfriend is Romeo Tan like wtfffff of cos you wanna spend time with him alone.

Maybe. Maybe. 1/9999 might be such saint.

Of course, I've met nice and motivating teachers whom I love to bits. But not because they are super saint. But because of many superficial reasons:

1. Gave me high marks.
2. Good-looking.
3. Old? Cos I always feel for old people.

Ok, I'm joking, there were really nice ones, who teach you wholeheartedly and wants you to improve genuinely. Fair enough?

But there is these 2 particular teachers whom fall out of my moral standards completely.

When recalling those memories, I thought it was really ridiculous! I should have lodge a complaint against them! It is even justifiable to sue them! If it had happened today, I can just stomp them and ruin their career. But I'm too nice to do so. Haha.

I swear these stories below are #truestories. They hurt me emotionally by accusing and making fun of me, contributing to my low self esteem since young.

T-T emo...

Lets start with teacher number one who was my form teacher when I'm primary 5/6. This male teacher studied abroad before teaching in my school. He hates me because I speak mandarin in class all the time. So much that he complained to my mom about it. My mom, my heroine replied him, ''华人当然讲华语啦！'' That left him speechless. Wahahahahaha.

This teacher likes to give nicknames to all the students in his class. I think he think he was being funny. He said that it is a way to rmb all our faces. Ya, bulls***. If you can't rmb all out names then invest in some fish oil tablets. My parents gave me a name for me to be called. Not for you to have an excuse to call people other stupid names.

So some nicknames include Fool (my best friend whose surname is Foo. See? It is not even funny.), Etc (sorry I can't rmb anymore, this just means his nicknames doesn't work)

And guess what's the fking name he gave me out of 1782631963 other better names he could gave me????

BIG MA MA.

Do I fking look like her seriously??? I look 62822827282528262816281621626272 times cuter????

And do you know how fking insulting is that to a 11 year old??? So my classmates started calling me that too. Yeah, the saddest part of all... but I kinda forgot who were the idiots who called me that in class. If you think you are one of them, heh heh please be careful at night ok? I will summon all my 冤魂to haunt you.

Anyone please tell me why idiots like that teacher exist in this supposedly-beautiful world?

I wonder how many lives of innocents did he ruined after I left primary school?

Btw, do you know that he is HIMSELF A FREAKING BALDING FAT ARSEHOLE? and he was like pretty young then? And then he smelt so bad, then I had to hold my breathe everytime I'm near him.  He smelt like some sort of metal!?!?

If I had the courage to fight back, I would gladly call him:

''NAME-CALLING RECEDING HAIRLINE  SMELLS LIKE METAL FATTY BOOM BOOM EDUCATOR DEVIL IN DISGUISE''

I FEEL SO SHIOK TYPING THAT NAME.

So the next teacher i'm gonna talk about is like worse!!!!!  Because she accused me!!!!

She was my JC's maths teacher. I rmb-ed that my class kinda dislike her. Because she is the boring-serious type of teacher. And she got a super SQUEAKY voice. I can't concentrate when it was her turn to give lectures -_-, because its like listening to someone who just drank helium. And I seriously don't like the way she teaches... 

I think she started hating me cos I was always late for classes after recess. AND THE FKING REASON I WAS LATE WAS BECAUSE I HAD TO DO STUPID TAF CLUB DURING RECCESS. I started disliking her... because she wasn't compassionate enough to be a teacher in my opinion. It's like I did not pass my maths once at all before my A'levels, i think it was because I hate her.

So, A'levels was nearing, it was time to sign up for consultation slots with the teachers. So, I was wondering if I could sign up for another maths teacher's slot because I though it would be better for me. So I asked this teacher of my cca friend's class if i can find him for consultation. He said OK. So I wrote my name on his schedule form on the teacher's lockers.

And then, after a few days... my friend told me that it would be better if I can ask my own teacher for permission first before I find him for consultation. So I thought, forget it... I'll just find Miss Squeaky for  consultation so I DON"T FKING HURT HER FEELINGS.

So, I smsed her and ask if she is free on someday... She replied saying, no she is not free. I chose another date, she said she not free either.

Then I asked her for the last date, she said that is a holiday, school will be closed. 

FINE. 

So I asked ''So can I ask Mr XXX for consultation then? Since you are not free on these days.''

Guess what she replied???

''I thought you already done so? That's why you PURPOSELY ask those dates which I'm not free.''

Pls allow me...

This woman was actually doubting my integrity, isn't it? 

YOU THINK I HIRE PRIVATE INVESTGATOR GO FIND OUT YOU WHICH DAY NOT FREE?????? YOU THINK I NO NEED STUDY A'LEVELS GO PLAN SUCH A SCHEMING PLAN?????

I remembered that I was really hurt... I sent an explanation over and she didn't reply.

I FKING HATE YOU.

I was like crying at home. How stupid was I too.... to be bothered by such idiotic person... 

So either MR XXX told her about it or she saw my name on the schedule.

FK YOU if you did, MR XXX.

And if the latter was the case, what a scheming teacher she was to peep at other teacher's schedule!

I still hate her till now. Integrity was like my most precious asset ever. 

I fking did nt take MC once in my 2 years of JC life.

I fking did not miss a lecture once in my 2 years of JC life.

And you are doubting me!?!!?!? Even when I idid not wanna hurt your feelings!

I still can't get over it... I can rant on forever!!!!

But, you know what? I wanna thank her.

COS WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER.

I seeked help from my cousin who became my tutor. 

AND FREAKING SCORED A FREAKING A FOR MY MATHS DURING THE A LEVELS.

She was there when my results was announced.

I wish I could see her expression and tell her 

''And you know what stupid biatch, nothing wasn't even from you.''

So, I'm done with these 2 stories.

Maybe some of you guys might think I'm being petty, I should be more optimistic and just forget these past memories.

But before you positive shat start talking, please understand that there are different types of people in this world. Something small to you might just mean something bigger to others. 

Think of people with lower self esteem and think before you speak. Some people forget easily, while some had to remember it forever. Who wouldn't want to be oblivious to things like that?? But sometimes, they just can't control. That's our personality.

I wish I could speak up for myself like this in the past. 

Okie, gotta stop the emo-ness...

Good night everyone!

Why did I gave up on my job hunting? Part 1

I graduated from NUS FASS Communications and New Media during May 2011. I wasn't really proud of that because my CAP was so freaking low, I didn't even pass with Merit. And the reason why I didn't pass with Merit was because I forgot to SU my modules (wtf wtf wtf). I was most probably too happy about graduating at that point of time.

I was kinda ashamed of myself. I didn't wanna take graduation studio photos with my family, I did not even upload my convocation photos on FB like everyone did. Because i thought there is really nothing to be proud of.

Many friends/relatives asked why didn't i find a job (a outside kind of job) till now. (I'm working at my dad's place now). The story is too long to narrate but i'm gonna do it now... maybe time for some self-reflection...

So, after my grad trip to Taiwan, reality sat in... gotta find a job. I was looking for a job I think I'll like. I was really into graphic design and photography, I believed that I'm born to be an arty farty person, and that i'm a visual person, I can't do normal admin work. I didn't care that the pay was low, I sent resumes to company hiring graphic designers/photographers. I think I sent about 10... which is why many people thought I didn't really tried hard enough.

3 companies got back to me. Of cos, I shall not name which. The first one that got back to me was a Japanese Restaurant. I went down for interview and was given a test which was to come out with a creative ad for some student promotion. The interviewer was a really nice lady and she told me I can just go ahead with any ideas. Now looking back at what I gave them, I think I'm a big weirdo.

Obviously, they didn't like it and the nice lady said she could not understand my intentions. But she offered to give me a second chance. (I think they really needed a person or they really liked my portfolio)  So I did the 2nd test, which is to create a brochure guide or their takeaway noodles... They like what i did and I was called for 2nd interview which a higher ranked manager would sit in. 

So, I waited for 1 hour before they asked me in. They asked me a few questions and I answered as per usual. Then, the higher ranked manager said to me "We really like your work but it seems to me that you are not interested in this job. You look and sound like you are very sian." You know I wasn't surprise at all when she said that. Because many have told me my normal face looks like this:

I started realising it during secondary school, cos my friend drew this exact same face on the bday card to me and arrowed to say that's me. 

And my voice............. don't let me get started on it... because i've heard ppl telling me "Why you sound so sian?" x 2893479834729834728 times but I was just talking like the most normal me. 

&^&^*&(^&%#@# X 283729834729834723

Back to the interview... that manager finally asked me "SO ARE U INTERESTED FOR THE JOB?'' Flabbergasted, I didn't really know what to say. Because deeeeeeep in my heart there is this devil screaming "Aiya, this is just my first interview, maybe there is better ones in the future!!!", "This woman is gonna eat you up if you work here!!!!". 

So I answered: "Maybe i'm not that interested in your company."

Suave.

This is not the first time I did that.

After A'levels, I did my first 3 months at Victoria Junior College. My results wasn't that good, I appealed through CCA. The reason I wanna go there because my ambition then was to be scriptwriter. (Rmb I told you abt my ''arty farty'' dreams.) Somebody told me I have to go to VJC to take Theatre Studies if I wanna be one. (I grew and realised this isn't true at all.) I'm a really chee-na person if you wanna use that word. So, I'm really unhappy in VJC especially when I'm in the arts and I just can't mix with those angmoh pais who don't use a single word of Mandarin. It's not even like the avoid it, they did it all naturally. That is tooooo out of my league.

So one day, I went into the principal's office and told her " Mrs XXX, I would to withdraw from VJC.'' She was another nice lady and she went "Oh no, can i know the reason?'' So i was thinking, maybe I should really tell her the truth.

"Cos, I don't like my classmates. I don't like this school. I'm unhappy when I'm here.''

Suave. Suave

                       

That's me... around 6-7 years back then? Little crazy. Ask me to do that now? Ahahaha.... 

So of cos I didn't get that job, unless that lady was another crazy one or thinks I'm so talented that she can't lose me.

This post is way to long~ I'll continue on the other 2 interviews in another post.

bye bye!

Why I decided to revive this blog

Hello air. It was another night for me and I thought I could just fall asleep easily like any other nights. Then I realised I've drank a cup of super thick green tea during the day. Damn... It's 2.35am now and I can't fall asleep. My eyes are wide open!!! I needa wake up at 9am... T-T

So, thoughts went running like mad just now... About my business and this blog I used to write for a very short period of time. Started this blog when I was still in uni, I can't rmb the reason why did I stopped. Mb I ran out of ideas, or too busy. And after graduating, I looked for jobs for a few months (one of my intended blogging content for future)... But ended up helping out at my dad's place and selling some plus size clothes at natsukiplus.com. And also falling in love with a overrated passion call photography.

I just realised some of my readers actually bought clothes from me!!! *eternally grateful!!!! You know starting this business isn't as cool as it seems to be. I'm not even sure if I'm earning, and I'm always faced with problems such as running out of suppliers, defect goods... high cost price... Etc etc.... I started out because I wanna turn my interest into something that can feed me... Hmm... Even though I'm not the first plus size seller... More and more plus size sellers popped after I started... Even my customer started her own plus size clothes business... Isn't that a kind of accomplishment? Thoughts of winding up gushed through my mind lotsa time... But I think I'll still go with the flow at the moment... I do have some loyal supporters that I don't wish to let down!!!

Ok, blogging about natsuki plus wasn't intended. Well, just now when I was having insomnia (still having it though) many potential blogging materials came to my mind... So I decided to revive this blog... Which is not known to most of my friends... I'm not only gonna continue the usual plus size stuffs but also any other crap like those I thought of just now...

Felt like I've been talking to air, cos this blog is so dead For 2 years!!! But it's okie, I'm gonna revive it!!!

Nights, I'm off to fight my insomnia.....