My Last Wishes Before We All Die.

I agreed Ashin's view on how the end of the world means equality among all living things. All of us will perish together, side by side with all sorts of species like Kai Kai & Jia Jia, Lady Gaga and Kyary Pamyu Pamyu.

(Ok, Lady Gaga and Kyary Pamyu Pamyu belong to the same species.)

I wasn't really thinking about the end of world until today is like quietly approaching. I admit I was abit paranoid. I started googling things up, and read that it is like a hoax thus relaxed abit. And afterall wouldn't it be awesome that maybe you might get to stand beside Joseph Gordon-Levitt or Ryan Gosling before you die since the world would be like all mess-up here and there??

Inspired by my sister's list of to-do things before the end of world comes, I thought I should have one too.

Things I Wanna Do Before We All Die

1. To poop properly after days of constipation.

Every time I start cutting down my intake of food get this constipation problem. I hadn't been pooping for last few days and the feeling sucks. So before I die please let me poop 个痛快。

2. Eat this all by myself.

And I'm not gonna share with anyone. I'll most probably take out the kiwis though. Bye bye to weight loss, bye bye the world!!! Diabetes is no big deal.

3. Fly to Disneyland Tokyo.

Radiation, you think I'm scared of you since it's like it is the end of the world??? Mother Nature wants to take away my chances to be a mother, so it makes no difference if I get exposed to radiation at all.

4. Munch on a tub of ikan bilis.

Without peanuts pls!!! Let me stuff my mouth with 89273482372 ikan bilis. The saltier the merrier cos I'm dying anyway, who gives a damn about kidney failure?? huh!?

5. Dye my hair cotton candy colour.

Just wanna pastel all over myself  before I die!!!

6. Buy this for BBK cos she wants it yesterday

Actually I'll buy whatever she wants let her play as we are fleeting. Must buy two each if not later she snatch with Mei Mei.

7. Put my mouth under the chocolate fountain.

Lemmi store a mouth of chocolate and drink it when I know I'm dying. Shiok bo?

photo from travelfolio

8. Go to Universal Studio and give Frankestein a punch in his face

Everytime I go to USS, this guy is just so annoying. He sneaked behind me and scared the shit out of me. I swear I'm gonna revenge before I die.

9. Kill a fly.

Who always manage to catch/kill a fly? 23 years of my life, I only manage to kill one fly before recently when it was eating the dogs' food. That feeling. Is like super satisfying. I sound sadistic but that's because they are being such nuisance and I've always wanna kill them for bothering me. 

10. Buy a Pile of Fried Chicken and Thank them personally

I would buy fried chicken pieces and tell them how I feel: 

''Fried Chicken, you don't know what you mean to me in my life. Thank you being such a saviour in my life. Thank you for being so delicious and thanks for having such crispy and oily skin. I can't thank you enough. I love you so much yet I know I cannot eat too many of you guys. Sorry for our love-hate relationship.''

the end!

I'm such a practical woman. so proud of myself.

Teachers who ruined my life.

Ok. The title is exaggerating. Because I am still alive and blogging.

But it is partially true. Some particular teachers I met did left a deep deep scar in my life. Hahahahaha. It is like I can call up 新明报 right now and they can spice the story up and make it a headline. "被新加坡教师取笑，年轻女子仍有阴影＂

Whenever I watch those channel 8 drama about super nice and caring teachers like the recent one with Felicia Chin as the super positive ''never-give-up-on-my-students''-''all-students-have-their-own-unique-talent''-kind of teacher, I would thought that's bull****.

You think teachers in Singapore would go to a student's house after school with her boyfriend to help the student's sister cook Maggie Mee and take care of their bed-ridden ah ma?

Especially when her boyfriend is Romeo Tan like wtfffff of cos you wanna spend time with him alone.

Maybe. Maybe. 1/9999 might be such saint.

Of course, I've met nice and motivating teachers whom I love to bits. But not because they are super saint. But because of many superficial reasons:

1. Gave me high marks.
2. Good-looking.
3. Old? Cos I always feel for old people.

Ok, I'm joking, there were really nice ones, who teach you wholeheartedly and wants you to improve genuinely. Fair enough?

But there is these 2 particular teachers whom fall out of my moral standards completely.

When recalling those memories, I thought it was really ridiculous! I should have lodge a complaint against them! It is even justifiable to sue them! If it had happened today, I can just stomp them and ruin their career. But I'm too nice to do so. Haha.

I swear these stories below are #truestories. They hurt me emotionally by accusing and making fun of me, contributing to my low self esteem since young.

T-T emo...

Lets start with teacher number one who was my form teacher when I'm primary 5/6. This male teacher studied abroad before teaching in my school. He hates me because I speak mandarin in class all the time. So much that he complained to my mom about it. My mom, my heroine replied him, ''华人当然讲华语啦！'' That left him speechless. Wahahahahaha.

This teacher likes to give nicknames to all the students in his class. I think he think he was being funny. He said that it is a way to rmb all our faces. Ya, bulls***. If you can't rmb all out names then invest in some fish oil tablets. My parents gave me a name for me to be called. Not for you to have an excuse to call people other stupid names.

So some nicknames include Fool (my best friend whose surname is Foo. See? It is not even funny.), Etc (sorry I can't rmb anymore, this just means his nicknames doesn't work)

And guess what's the fking name he gave me out of 1782631963 other better names he could gave me????

BIG MA MA.

Do I fking look like her seriously??? I look 62822827282528262816281621626272 times cuter????

And do you know how fking insulting is that to a 11 year old??? So my classmates started calling me that too. Yeah, the saddest part of all... but I kinda forgot who were the idiots who called me that in class. If you think you are one of them, heh heh please be careful at night ok? I will summon all my 冤魂to haunt you.

Anyone please tell me why idiots like that teacher exist in this supposedly-beautiful world?

I wonder how many lives of innocents did he ruined after I left primary school?

Btw, do you know that he is HIMSELF A FREAKING BALDING FAT ARSEHOLE? and he was like pretty young then? And then he smelt so bad, then I had to hold my breathe everytime I'm near him.  He smelt like some sort of metal!?!?

If I had the courage to fight back, I would gladly call him:

''NAME-CALLING RECEDING HAIRLINE  SMELLS LIKE METAL FATTY BOOM BOOM EDUCATOR DEVIL IN DISGUISE''

I FEEL SO SHIOK TYPING THAT NAME.

So the next teacher i'm gonna talk about is like worse!!!!!  Because she accused me!!!!

She was my JC's maths teacher. I rmb-ed that my class kinda dislike her. Because she is the boring-serious type of teacher. And she got a super SQUEAKY voice. I can't concentrate when it was her turn to give lectures -_-, because its like listening to someone who just drank helium. And I seriously don't like the way she teaches... 

I think she started hating me cos I was always late for classes after recess. AND THE FKING REASON I WAS LATE WAS BECAUSE I HAD TO DO STUPID TAF CLUB DURING RECCESS. I started disliking her... because she wasn't compassionate enough to be a teacher in my opinion. It's like I did not pass my maths once at all before my A'levels, i think it was because I hate her.

So, A'levels was nearing, it was time to sign up for consultation slots with the teachers. So, I was wondering if I could sign up for another maths teacher's slot because I though it would be better for me. So I asked this teacher of my cca friend's class if i can find him for consultation. He said OK. So I wrote my name on his schedule form on the teacher's lockers.

And then, after a few days... my friend told me that it would be better if I can ask my own teacher for permission first before I find him for consultation. So I thought, forget it... I'll just find Miss Squeaky for  consultation so I DON"T FKING HURT HER FEELINGS.

So, I smsed her and ask if she is free on someday... She replied saying, no she is not free. I chose another date, she said she not free either.

Then I asked her for the last date, she said that is a holiday, school will be closed. 

FINE. 

So I asked ''So can I ask Mr XXX for consultation then? Since you are not free on these days.''

Guess what she replied???

''I thought you already done so? That's why you PURPOSELY ask those dates which I'm not free.''

Pls allow me...

This woman was actually doubting my integrity, isn't it? 

YOU THINK I HIRE PRIVATE INVESTGATOR GO FIND OUT YOU WHICH DAY NOT FREE?????? YOU THINK I NO NEED STUDY A'LEVELS GO PLAN SUCH A SCHEMING PLAN?????

I remembered that I was really hurt... I sent an explanation over and she didn't reply.

I FKING HATE YOU.

I was like crying at home. How stupid was I too.... to be bothered by such idiotic person... 

So either MR XXX told her about it or she saw my name on the schedule.

FK YOU if you did, MR XXX.

And if the latter was the case, what a scheming teacher she was to peep at other teacher's schedule!

I still hate her till now. Integrity was like my most precious asset ever. 

I fking did nt take MC once in my 2 years of JC life.

I fking did not miss a lecture once in my 2 years of JC life.

And you are doubting me!?!!?!? Even when I idid not wanna hurt your feelings!

I still can't get over it... I can rant on forever!!!!

But, you know what? I wanna thank her.

COS WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER.

I seeked help from my cousin who became my tutor. 

AND FREAKING SCORED A FREAKING A FOR MY MATHS DURING THE A LEVELS.

She was there when my results was announced.

I wish I could see her expression and tell her 

''And you know what stupid biatch, nothing wasn't even from you.''

So, I'm done with these 2 stories.

Maybe some of you guys might think I'm being petty, I should be more optimistic and just forget these past memories.

But before you positive shat start talking, please understand that there are different types of people in this world. Something small to you might just mean something bigger to others. 

Think of people with lower self esteem and think before you speak. Some people forget easily, while some had to remember it forever. Who wouldn't want to be oblivious to things like that?? But sometimes, they just can't control. That's our personality.

I wish I could speak up for myself like this in the past. 

Okie, gotta stop the emo-ness...

Good night everyone!

Just some observations...

Just completed my 3 days part time job for a fair. I was helping a Japan booth and it was really tiring! But pretty eye-opening for me. I love observing people when I have nothing to do.. So there was really some people who fk-ingly irritate me. But of cos there was also nice people and heartwarming conversation.

Let me start with the irritating part. So the booth beside my booth was a Japanese company that sells really high tech equipment. I'm not sure what are they for, just know they look really expensive and whoever is selling them most probably earns lotsa money... So there was this father and son pair who is most probably locals who came for all 3 days to accompany the booth's Japanese boss and employees.

I overheard them and knew that this father is the distributor of the company's machines in Singapore. And then I actually saw his name card and learnt that he is a doctor/PHD.

Not surprised.

So, the freaking thing that irritates me about this Doctor is that he is fk-ing hostile. If he works with Japanese, he should know that he should smile and greet even people he doesn't know. But he didn't even greet my booth's Japanese, he doesn't even give a damn to smile or whatever... And he got this constantly arrogant shit face when walking pass our booth. And then his face is really weird because it is fk-ing red! Like it is so abnormal, it feels like he changes his blood everyday to get that overly-rosy face or most probably he eats 361861926 supplements tablets everyday. He totally looks like that sort.

He is most probably rich and he thinks he is distributing the most powerful equipment ever. By the way, he got the most cliche name ever... But I'm not gonna say it here to play safe.

You know if he got a son who is freaking good looking, I might just forgive this overly-rosy cheek hao lian doctor uncle's attitude. But you know what? His son is freakin fat! I know I'm bad, and I'm fat too. And i dont call anyone fat easily because I know how it feels to be called that. but you know it so justifiable to call him fat because, every single time he returns to the booth, he will be holding either a Watsons or 7-11 plastic bag with like candies or sweet drinks inside. And he is constantly biting something!!! And I think he is like as old as me or older than me.

And then everyday he goes to the booth, he stays there and do nothing except buying food for the Japanese and himself. and also CHEW on his food.

And not to mention, like his father he is also damn hostile and arrogant. And then he looks much less intellectual than his father. and I wonder why. Lastly, he is named after a scientific term most probably by his inconsiderate overly-rosy cheek hao lian milk daddy.

Did I mentioned that that son bought POCKY for the Japanese?

Didn't the years of education he went through teach him that POCKY IS FROM JAPAN? Why the fk would Japanese wanna come Singapore to eat POCKY?

Maybe they didn't because it is fking common sense just like how you call your dad's wife mom!!!!!!

I don't even know if the Japanese like him there all the time. Because everytime he is there, the booth gets so overcrowded. And then he has to stand near our booth with his fat arse covering our display. LIKE WTF RIGHT.

He didn't even bother to say sorry/excuse to us! FAT SHIT YOU.

Ok. enough said about the irritating pair...

So, the really cute part about the fair was the interaction between the boss and a group of ITE students.

This ITE girl came with her classmate and approached us for a brochure. Then she saw that my boss was from Japan so she said ''Arigatou!''. The boss, being nice, acted surprise and asked if she speaks Japanese.
So the conversation went on with her broken Japanese. It was all natural. and the group of ITE students said bye bye to us when leaving.

The boss asked me if they are university students. I was like errrrrr... i don't know how to explain ITE so I told them vocational school students.And they asked if there future doctors of Singapore. I lied and said maybe.

HAHAHAHA. thats a white lie ok, just wanna let him think that Singapore have really nice people as our doctors.

My boss had a really good impression of them. =D

Short and sweet.

My point is... why do idiots live better than nice people?
Is it because they are idiots so they get rich easily because they are idiots?

The group of ite students... hopefully they can get some decent technical jobs.

and what if that arse hole is one of our doctors? SHIT MAN.

You know I really hate the word ELITES.
There is no elites in Singapore in my opinion.
Probably just RICH PEOPLE.

Rich people who don't give a damn about their manners because they think money and their high education is everything.

Rich people who spend $362893742987429642 on a piece of branded bag/crap. 

Rich people who spend $893274289643923742 on their wedding as if THEY ARE ROYALS when you are fking not.

DISCLAIMER: I don't mind if these people are really nice and mannered people. I'm talking about rich idiots who have no manners like the father and son.

I always believed that MONEY CAN BUY EVERYTHING.

Money can buy you a wife even though you are fking fat and chewy.
(THIS IS SOOOO THE CASE FOR THAT GUY)

Money can buy you friends to chew with you.


BUT MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU GOOD NATURE.

And damn, I have a good nature, I swear.
(pls don't judge me by the number of 'fat' i used in this post. I rarely say that on others.)

My motto in life: 

好人有好报。

I know you are waiting for something more bombastic.

But seriously... 好人有好报。
做人就是如此，做好人做好事。

给别人一个微笑到底是有多难？？？

Shoot, Shag, Marry

THIS POST STRICTLY FOR THE PLEASURE FOR GIRLS/GAYS ONLY. 

Totally forgot who intro-ed this game to me. But since then I've always enjoy playing this game with my friends, intro-ing them and making difficult choices for them. For those who don't know about this game, you are missing out so much fun.

Shoot, Shag, Marry: game whereby one gives choices of 3 person of the same gender to another. the answerer has to choose who to shoot (to kill one), shag (since this word is really vulgar, I'll explain it as: to spend a night with), marry (self-explanatory).

Ok, so I'm gonna come out with some really easy/difficult, angmoh/asians ones. And you have to answer in your mind. 

1. No Brainer Set
Difficulty Level: ☆

This serves to be an example. It is gonna be very easy. Like damn easy, you don't even have to use your brain.

OK. SHOOT ZHANG FEI NOW,  RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

I even have the urge to throw my Iphone to that face on screen now. He looks sooooo ridiculous beside Hemsworth, even more ridiculous than Spidey!

My Choice: 

Spend night with Spiderman, Marry Chris Hemsworth (Thor actor) (third one can be eliminate automatically)

Analysis: 

It is a no brainer cos you can decide who to shoot like you can read abc. 

The Spiderman here ain't Andrew Garfield, it is like Spiderman himself. So he might be a disappointment under his mask. So it is more safe to just spend a night with him. And marrying Spiderman might land yourself in danger situations. Just like Gwen Stacy's daddy's concern. LOL.

Marry Chris Hemsworth and you will get a lifetime of eyecandy!!! Provided you don't get divorce, cos angmohs like very prone to get divorced. lol.

2. Avengers set.

Difficulty Level: ★ ★ 

I'm very obsessed these few months about superheroes. Thanks to the movies.

HAHA. I'm always showing my affection towards the hulk. But I refuse to put him here. Because I'm still rationale. I understand it is just infatuation, I don't wanna be a victim of domestic violence. 

My Choice: 

Kill Hawkeye. Marry Ironman. S Captain A!

Analysis: 

Have to kill Hawkeye cos he can't save the world like wtf. 

And imagine this conversation with your friend:

You: Hey guys, I have something to tell. Actually I've been dating an Avenger.

Friend: OMG. OMG!!! Who is it!?!? Tony Stark?? Thor?!? Or omg!! Captain!!

You: Erm... actually it is Hawkeye...

Friend:

So, we should all marry Ironman so we can be Tai Tais. Don't marry Captain because people will think you 包养猛男小白脸 when you grow old. A surprisingly easy set.

3. The Getting-Old Movie Star Set
Difficulty Level: ★ ★ ☆

Okie, time to move up 1 level. This one is slightly normal because they are all Asians. Answers really depend on your personal preference. 

I don't know why when I google, the handsome photos are all in monochrome. Lol. Maybe monochrome photos can hide wrinkles.

My Choice:

Shoot Tony Leung, Spend night with Takeshi and Marry Andy Lau.

Analysis:

I'm not a big fan of any of them. But they are all undeniably 老帅哥！金城武 is like the dream boy of many girls. And he is like the youngest among them. But I didn't choose to marry him because they might be a possibility that he is not straight cos you know there's v little scandal and rumours about his love life. 

Tony and Andy (like I know them v well like that) are like very good husband kind? At least from the portrayal from media... Tough choice! I tried googling about their net worth (lol) but nothing came out.

Okie... Andy over Tony because I won't like it if my husband acts in 色戒。hahahahaha.

4. All-Hot-Guys-Got-Same-Name Set

Difficulty Level: ★ ★ ★ ★

Okie, this is one of my favourite set. And it is damn tough, at least for me *swooooons

You know what? Every girls should start searching for guys named Chris. Guys should name themselves Chris, then maybe one day they will wake up with their muscles bursting out of their pjs and those stubbles on their faces.

My Choice: Marry Chris Pine! then errr....errrr.... omg... KILLING EITHER EVANS OR HEMSWORTH IS A SIN!!!!!! Okie... I'm killing Chris Hemsworth.... T-T

Analysis: Chris Pine (James T. Kirk of Star Trek) has been my fav Hollywood eyecandy since like 1873198371 years ago after watching Princess Diaries 2. So it wasn't a difficult choice for me. 

It is sooooo diffcult to choose between the two other Chris! If based solely on face... I prefer Hemsworth's. But I think Hemsworth's body is getting abit overtrained and scary:

and it is getting alot like Johnny Bravo:

and I hate Johnny Bravo.

So... I chose Chris Evans:

Wanted to come out something like among 张菲， 猪哥亮 and 胡瓜。But searching their pictures on google deters me to do so.

So I shall end here with a special surprise for you all:

Specially dedicated to a friend, you know who you are.

I'm basically risking my life writing this post because my dad is walking around when I'm googling and  doing collages for all these pictures. 

So, girlfriends should totally play this game among yourselves. Great game to kill time and break the awkwardness. hahaha.

Photoshop Tutorial: Save Your Wrongly Focused Photos!!!!

I was looking through photos I took for my Cousin's wedding last year because I need them into burn disc for her. I wasn't the photographer, but just took photos to train myself since it was a good opportunity.

I wanna kill myself when seeing all the photos because my iso was high yet many photos were blurred.

So I decided to re-edit some photos and see what can I do to save them. I saw this one in particular:

Well, I thought this was quite a nice contextual photo. Abit like loan shark shouting: "欠钱还钱，不然我就挂猪头在你家门口hor！" 

but but but... the focal point is wrong!!!! Think i was too excited, and the gate made it harder to focus on the brother. So, the bro's face is actually blurred and the focus was on the freaking fish!!!!

So I tried to save the photo. And much to my delight... ta-daaa!

Yay! I deserve to be hao lian. 

So, the fish was blurred out machiam like I used f1.8, but actually I used 24-70mm f2.8 lens for that. So I'm gonna tell you how to do that step by step in Photoshop so you can save your photos too!!!

STEP 1:

Unsharp Mask your photo. Follow the setting as shown:

Then, your photo will become like that: 

 Okie, but the fish is still damn 抢镜头。

Step 2:
Duplicate the photo, and use Gaussian Blur on your extra layer:

Set not higher than 2 pixels. So your photo will look very blur, then u start panic, wondering if I'm teaching the right thing.

Step 3:

Create Layer mask on the extra layer: 

Layer mask is basically the 3rd button at the bottom in your layers window. When u press it, a white box will appear beside your layer thumbnail. Gomenasai, I no screenshot.

Step 4: 

Click on the layer mask (aka white box) and fill it with black. The white box will turn black!!! And your photo will turn into the one after you did your first step:

So, make sure the black box is selected, and use a brush, white colour and go over those parts you want it to be blurred. So its the fish and gate for my case. So your photo will become like that:

Almost there!!

Step 5:

Merge your layers, duplicate layer and do gaussian blur again on the duplicated later. This is to add some layer in your depth:

You can set a higher pixel for this step. Again, do layer mask, and blur out the area such as the right hand side of the fish the back ground etc... 

This one is after I merge and adjust the levels and brightness.

So last step, add vignette and some light in the background. Also crop the photo if you wanna:

We are done! Not exactly perfect but much better. Add your watermark if you wanna act pro like me.

My dad's irritating friend's irritating family

I always think that we can generalise parents into 2 types:

1. Super-Hao-Lian-about-their-kids type.
2. Depreciate-their-kids type.

My parents are definitely the 2nd type. Okie la, maybe only my mom.


Her kopi-kaki: “哇，你女儿很乖hor，陪你们来吃饭！”
My mom: “哈哈，我三请四请她才来的咯。"

This one still acceptable, because it is partially true. But you know sometimes I see my parents' friends, I really think my parents are very lucky and I'm super filial. I hardly see their kids join their friends' gathering, but I'm always go with them (maybe 70%).



Her kopi-kaki: “哇，你女儿皮肤很好hor！”
My mom: “没有咯，你远看嘛，你近看有很多pimples。”

wth.
This one is not acceptable... even though it is more true than the previous one. But the fact that she said that in front of me, makes me so urgh!!!

However, you know I rather have 'Depreciate-their-kids type' of parents rather than 'Super-Hao-Lian-about-their-kids type'.


My dad has a friend. Let's name him Uncle T. My dad knew him since long ago because they are in the same industry. A few back then, my dad and his friends form a kopi-kaki group. They have breakfast and coffee every morning together at different locations.  And this Uncle T and his wife, Auntie T are part of the group. My dad told me Uncle T is a known hao lian person among their common friends. They gave him a nickname Lighter T because he got the capability to 无中生‘火’。


Actually I more 受不了 his wife, because she wanna be the nicest person on earth. She always cook goodies for the kakis. But I know her ulterior motive... which is to gain praises from them. Why i know? Cos her super happy & 'song' face is the evidence when people praised about her vinegar pig trotters. 


What's worse is that the T family has a daughter who is of the same age as me. Let's name her Daughter T (Seriously, I don't even know her name.) The stories below are true stories, either with me on the spot or heard from my parents.

SBHL FAMILY Story 1: 我的女儿也是。


It was just another dinner with Kopi-Kakis. You know Daughter T RARELY appeared at their dinners, she only joins when there is short overseas trip or when her dad 做头. I'm always there at the dinners lor. But it's like she is forever the 最佳女主角 there cos her mom will surely talk about her one. So suddenly her mom spoke to me:

“你长得很像日本人hor。”

Wahhhh, I must have had 帮老婆婆过马路 to get a praise from the aunty whose is forever engrossed about her holy daughter. I just smiled and say ‘‘不会啦！’’

“我的女儿也是很像，只要稍微打扮，在日本日本人都会跟她说日本话。” she replied.

like wtf.

You think Japanese will come to u randomly and speak English to you in Japan meh? of course, they will assume you are Japanese mah. Same rule applies to everyone.

Even Ah Lians and Ah Bengs go to Japan, the natives will still speak Japanese to them cos maybe they think is Harajuku Style:

The guy looks typical ah beng right? photo from Tokyofashion.com lor. 

Her daughter is like so normal looking. So Japanese will think she is a normal Japanese right. Right right right? 

So the whole point is... the reason she even started to praise me because she wanna praise her daughter. Buay Tahan!!!!!!!!!

SBHL FAMILY Story 2: The A'levels.


You know I'm damn proud of my A'levels result because I got all As except for B for GP (cos my english is super lousy, this blog is the evidence). I think my parents are damn proud of me, but you know they are very humble people, so they mentioned to no one except really close relatives and friends. And then Uncle T came asking my dad about my results, my dad merely said ''Okie la, not bad.'' He kept probing again, but my dad just ignore him. (Actually my dad has an even more 高招) To no avail, he went on to hao lian about his daughter results: ''我女儿考到大多数B，很好的成绩。她要读SMU。"

Aiyah, he purposely mentioned SMU alot of times cos SMU was very ''hot'' and alot poeple was raving about it.

So... my dad's 高招 was coming. He went to tell a close friend of theirs my results, knowing the friend would surely tell Uncle T about it because this friend also buay tahan Uncle T. My dad's friend went to to tell my dad about Uncle T's expression when he learnt about my result: disbelieving look. I'm sure he looked like this:

If I'm there I would have taken this out and say:

SBHL FAMILY Story 3: 哇，有人很想念我leh。

Actually, I've only met her daughter 3 times. First time was when she came to fetch her parents from Batam trip which I went. 2nd and 3rd time was because of some dinners which her dad 做头。We didn't even talk even though her mom wants me to be her daughter's friend badly. She would say thing like “你们可以交流啊。做朋友，以后出去玩。" Eeeee, no thanks. I know I should not dislike the daughter, it is not her fault to have such haolian parents. But I still can't stand the sight of her cos: 

1. Her voice. 

Her voice is those super sweet kind. Please don't misunderstand... not all sweet voices are bearable and nice. Some have natural sweet 撒娇 kind of voices.But hers... is like Artificial Sweetener... like she faked it.... The way she talks to her parents makes me shiver...

2. she is a 黏人精／撒娇精 

SHE FOREVER MUST CLING TO HER PARENTS!

HER HAND FOREVER MUST BE CLINGING TO HER DAD/MOM WHEN WALK TOGETHER. WHY WHY TELL ME WHY. 

3. I JUST DON'T LIKE HER. (I'm so bad. but i'm full of wagamama anyways)

4. I JUST DON'T LIKE HER PARENTS.

5. Maybe I'm just jealous that she is close to her parents. but maybe i'm not. cos i'm also close to my parents even though I don't 撒娇 to them, or hug/kiss/cling onto them.

Okie... so the story goes.... one day..... her mom said to me.....

“我女儿很想念你leh。”

and i puked.

During that time, I think I've only met her daughter twice. I don't even rmb her name. And you tell me your daughter said she missed me? I think you need assure that your daughter is not a lesbian cos maybe she fell in love with me. What the shit?! I hope one day she can tell me the truth behind this shit and enlighten me. Cos i scared she really fell in love w me.

I won't use the word hypocrite cos that's too mean. Aunty T, you are the true winner. (or maybe is her daughter. who really did say that to her. If that's the case, HYPOCRITE is not a mean word to use)





SBHL FAMILY Story 4: Mystery of her course in Uni


So, this Daughter T studied in SMU. Bur her course had always been a mystery. One day, my dad heard from their common friend that Uncle T said that his daughter can be Doctor when she graduate. Wah!!! I didn't know to be Doctor can have mostly Bs and isn't SMU supposed to be business oriented, got medical course meh?

So, my dad went KPO and found out that Daughter T is supposed to be a 心理医生/psychiatrist. And Uncle T insisted that his daughter will be doctor when she graduate. Wahhhhh. Yayaya, some one please enlighten me: studying psychology come out can be doctor? Even she studied honours?

I doubt so, because I heard from NUS's psychology students that this is not possible unless you study overseas after graduating?

And obviously, she is just a social science graduate just like me! wtf.


SBHL FAMILY Story 5: She is super multi-talented.


Everytime Aunty T talks about her daughter, she is always full of praises. And her daughter seems to be doing different things everytime, machiam she super multi-talented.

Version 1: "My daughter is working at a flower shop now. She loves flowers, and she can name all the flower now and tell you where they come from." 

Version 2: "My daughter is part-timing at a child care centre now. She loves children!"


Version 3: "My daughter is helping out at a ballet school now. It is her interest."


Version 4: "My daughter is in Philippines now, she doing social work!"

I think Daughter T should totally win Noble-prize award. And the recent news about her is that the ballet school boss wants to open a branch and let her be in-charge. WOAH. I wish one day some photographer can open a studio and let me be in-charge.


Phew, letting these out makes me feel alot more shiok. These has been going on for like 4-5 years before I even realised. Why do these kind of people even exist?

I swear that the next time they praised their daughter in front of me, I'll say something and make them paisey. That's my goal! I know its stupid. Hahaha....

Well, I wish their daughter all the best... and I totally wish we will never meet again =D

Why did I gave up on my job hunting? Part 1

I graduated from NUS FASS Communications and New Media during May 2011. I wasn't really proud of that because my CAP was so freaking low, I didn't even pass with Merit. And the reason why I didn't pass with Merit was because I forgot to SU my modules (wtf wtf wtf). I was most probably too happy about graduating at that point of time.

I was kinda ashamed of myself. I didn't wanna take graduation studio photos with my family, I did not even upload my convocation photos on FB like everyone did. Because i thought there is really nothing to be proud of.

Many friends/relatives asked why didn't i find a job (a outside kind of job) till now. (I'm working at my dad's place now). The story is too long to narrate but i'm gonna do it now... maybe time for some self-reflection...

So, after my grad trip to Taiwan, reality sat in... gotta find a job. I was looking for a job I think I'll like. I was really into graphic design and photography, I believed that I'm born to be an arty farty person, and that i'm a visual person, I can't do normal admin work. I didn't care that the pay was low, I sent resumes to company hiring graphic designers/photographers. I think I sent about 10... which is why many people thought I didn't really tried hard enough.

3 companies got back to me. Of cos, I shall not name which. The first one that got back to me was a Japanese Restaurant. I went down for interview and was given a test which was to come out with a creative ad for some student promotion. The interviewer was a really nice lady and she told me I can just go ahead with any ideas. Now looking back at what I gave them, I think I'm a big weirdo.

Obviously, they didn't like it and the nice lady said she could not understand my intentions. But she offered to give me a second chance. (I think they really needed a person or they really liked my portfolio)  So I did the 2nd test, which is to create a brochure guide or their takeaway noodles... They like what i did and I was called for 2nd interview which a higher ranked manager would sit in. 

So, I waited for 1 hour before they asked me in. They asked me a few questions and I answered as per usual. Then, the higher ranked manager said to me "We really like your work but it seems to me that you are not interested in this job. You look and sound like you are very sian." You know I wasn't surprise at all when she said that. Because many have told me my normal face looks like this:

I started realising it during secondary school, cos my friend drew this exact same face on the bday card to me and arrowed to say that's me. 

And my voice............. don't let me get started on it... because i've heard ppl telling me "Why you sound so sian?" x 2893479834729834728 times but I was just talking like the most normal me. 

&^&^*&(^&%#@# X 283729834729834723

Back to the interview... that manager finally asked me "SO ARE U INTERESTED FOR THE JOB?'' Flabbergasted, I didn't really know what to say. Because deeeeeeep in my heart there is this devil screaming "Aiya, this is just my first interview, maybe there is better ones in the future!!!", "This woman is gonna eat you up if you work here!!!!". 

So I answered: "Maybe i'm not that interested in your company."

Suave.

This is not the first time I did that.

After A'levels, I did my first 3 months at Victoria Junior College. My results wasn't that good, I appealed through CCA. The reason I wanna go there because my ambition then was to be scriptwriter. (Rmb I told you abt my ''arty farty'' dreams.) Somebody told me I have to go to VJC to take Theatre Studies if I wanna be one. (I grew and realised this isn't true at all.) I'm a really chee-na person if you wanna use that word. So, I'm really unhappy in VJC especially when I'm in the arts and I just can't mix with those angmoh pais who don't use a single word of Mandarin. It's not even like the avoid it, they did it all naturally. That is tooooo out of my league.

So one day, I went into the principal's office and told her " Mrs XXX, I would to withdraw from VJC.'' She was another nice lady and she went "Oh no, can i know the reason?'' So i was thinking, maybe I should really tell her the truth.

"Cos, I don't like my classmates. I don't like this school. I'm unhappy when I'm here.''

Suave. Suave

                       

That's me... around 6-7 years back then? Little crazy. Ask me to do that now? Ahahaha.... 

So of cos I didn't get that job, unless that lady was another crazy one or thinks I'm so talented that she can't lose me.

This post is way to long~ I'll continue on the other 2 interviews in another post.

bye bye!