1. Super-Hao-Lian-about-their-kids type.
2. Depreciate-their-kids type.
My parents are definitely the 2nd type. Okie la, maybe only my mom.
Her kopi-kaki: “哇，你女儿很乖hor，陪你们来吃饭！”
My mom: “哈哈，我三请四请她才来的咯。"
This one still acceptable, because it is partially true. But you know sometimes I see my parents' friends, I really think my parents are very lucky and I'm super filial. I hardly see their kids join their friends' gathering, but I'm always go with them (maybe 70%).
Her kopi-kaki: “哇，你女儿皮肤很好hor！”
My mom: “没有咯，你远看嘛，你近看有很多pimples。”
wth.
This one is not acceptable... even though it is more true than the previous one. But the fact that she said that in front of me, makes me so urgh!!!
However, you know I rather have 'Depreciate-their-kids type' of parents rather than 'Super-Hao-Lian-about-their-kids type'.
My dad has a friend. Let's name him Uncle T. My dad knew him since long ago because they are in the same industry. A few back then, my dad and his friends form a kopi-kaki group. They have breakfast and coffee every morning together at different locations. And this Uncle T and his wife, Auntie T are part of the group. My dad told me Uncle T is a known hao lian person among their common friends. They gave him a nickname Lighter T because he got the capability to 无中生‘火’。
Actually I more 受不了 his wife, because she wanna be the nicest person on earth. She always cook goodies for the kakis. But I know her ulterior motive... which is to gain praises from them. Why i know? Cos her super happy & 'song' face is the evidence when people praised about her vinegar pig trotters.
What's worse is that the T family has a daughter who is of the same age as me. Let's name her Daughter T (Seriously, I don't even know her name.) The stories below are true stories, either with me on the spot or heard from my parents.
SBHL FAMILY Story 1: 我的女儿也是。
It was just another dinner with Kopi-Kakis. You know Daughter T RARELY appeared at their dinners, she only joins when there is short overseas trip or when her dad 做头. I'm always there at the dinners lor. But it's like she is forever the 最佳女主角 there cos her mom will surely talk about her one. So suddenly her mom spoke to me:
“你长得很像日本人hor。”
Wahhhh, I must have had 帮老婆婆过马路 to get a praise from the aunty whose is forever engrossed about her holy daughter. I just smiled and say ‘‘不会啦！’’
“我的女儿也是很像，只要稍微打扮，在日本日本人都会跟她说日本话。” she replied.
like wtf.
Even Ah Lians and Ah Bengs go to Japan, the natives will still speak Japanese to them cos maybe they think is Harajuku Style:
The guy looks typical ah beng right? photo from Tokyofashion.com lor.
Her daughter is like so normal looking. So Japanese will think she is a normal Japanese right. Right right right?
So the whole point is... the reason she even started to praise me because she wanna praise her daughter. Buay Tahan!!!!!!!!!
SBHL FAMILY Story 2: The A'levels.
You know I'm damn proud of my A'levels result because I got all As except for B for GP (cos my english is super lousy, this blog is the evidence). I think my parents are damn proud of me, but you know they are very humble people, so they mentioned to no one except really close relatives and friends. And then Uncle T came asking my dad about my results, my dad merely said ''Okie la, not bad.'' He kept probing again, but my dad just ignore him. (Actually my dad has an even more 高招) To no avail, he went on to hao lian about his daughter results: ''我女儿考到大多数B，很好的成绩。她要读SMU。"
Aiyah, he purposely mentioned SMU alot of times cos SMU was very ''hot'' and alot poeple was raving about it.
So... my dad's 高招 was coming. He went to tell a close friend of theirs my results, knowing the friend would surely tell Uncle T about it because this friend also buay tahan Uncle T. My dad's friend went to to tell my dad about Uncle T's expression when he learnt about my result: disbelieving look. I'm sure he looked like this:
If I'm there I would have taken this out and say:
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SBHL FAMILY Story 3: 哇，有人很想念我leh。
Actually, I've only met her daughter 3 times. First time was when she came to fetch her parents from Batam trip which I went. 2nd and 3rd time was because of some dinners which her dad 做头。We didn't even talk even though her mom wants me to be her daughter's friend badly. She would say thing like “你们可以交流啊。做朋友，以后出去玩。" Eeeee, no thanks. I know I should not dislike the daughter, it is not her fault to have such haolian parents. But I still can't stand the sight of her cos:
1. Her voice.
Her voice is those super sweet kind. Please don't misunderstand... not all sweet voices are bearable and nice. Some have natural sweet 撒娇 kind of voices.But hers... is like Artificial Sweetener... like she faked it.... The way she talks to her parents makes me shiver...
2. she is a 黏人精／撒娇精
SHE FOREVER MUST CLING TO HER PARENTS!
HER HAND FOREVER MUST BE CLINGING TO HER DAD/MOM WHEN WALK TOGETHER. WHY WHY TELL ME WHY.
3. I JUST DON'T LIKE HER. (I'm so bad. but i'm full of wagamama anyways)
4. I JUST DON'T LIKE HER PARENTS.
5. Maybe I'm just jealous that she is close to her parents. but maybe i'm not. cos i'm also close to my parents even though I don't 撒娇 to them, or hug/kiss/cling onto them.
Okie... so the story goes.... one day..... her mom said to me.....
“我女儿很想念你leh。”
and i puked.
During that time, I think I've only met her daughter twice. I don't even rmb her name. And you tell me your daughter said she missed me? I think you need assure that your daughter is not a lesbian cos maybe she fell in love with me. What the shit?! I hope one day she can tell me the truth behind this shit and enlighten me. Cos i scared she really fell in love w me.
I won't use the word hypocrite cos that's too mean. Aunty T, you are the true winner. (or maybe is her daughter. who really did say that to her. If that's the case, HYPOCRITE is not a mean word to use)
SBHL FAMILY Story 4: Mystery of her course in Uni
So, this Daughter T studied in SMU. Bur her course had always been a mystery. One day, my dad heard from their common friend that Uncle T said that his daughter can be Doctor when she graduate. Wah!!! I didn't know to be Doctor can have mostly Bs and isn't SMU supposed to be business oriented, got medical course meh?
So, my dad went KPO and found out that Daughter T is supposed to be a 心理医生/psychiatrist. And Uncle T insisted that his daughter will be doctor when she graduate. Wahhhhh. Yayaya, some one please enlighten me: studying psychology come out can be doctor? Even she studied honours?
I doubt so, because I heard from NUS's psychology students that this is not possible unless you study overseas after graduating?
And obviously, she is just a social science graduate just like me! wtf.
SBHL FAMILY Story 5: She is super multi-talented.
Everytime Aunty T talks about her daughter, she is always full of praises. And her daughter seems to be doing different things everytime, machiam she super multi-talented.
Version 1: "My daughter is working at a flower shop now. She loves flowers, and she can name all the flower now and tell you where they come from."
Version 2: "My daughter is part-timing at a child care centre now. She loves children!"
Version 3: "My daughter is helping out at a ballet school now. It is her interest."
Version 4: "My daughter is in Philippines now, she doing social work!"
I think Daughter T should totally win Noble-prize award. And the recent news about her is that the ballet school boss wants to open a branch and let her be in-charge. WOAH. I wish one day some photographer can open a studio and let me be in-charge.
Phew, letting these out makes me feel alot more shiok. These has been going on for like 4-5 years before I even realised. Why do these kind of people even exist?
I swear that the next time they praised their daughter in front of me, I'll say something and make them paisey. That's my goal! I know its stupid. Hahaha....
Well, I wish their daughter all the best... and I totally wish we will never meet again =D
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